The Station, Part 28

I’m going crazy. That’s the only logical answer. I’m losing my sense of reality and the cracks are showing. I’m now having dreams within dreams. There was never a sea of grass. Or an acacia or a pair of friendly Australopithecines. And there is no Frontier. I don’t know how much you have heard, but I would agree with you on this—this is the chronicle of the fall of a man. It’s the story of my end. And don’t give me any shit about giving up. You’re not here. You don’t know. You maybe saying, “Keep going. You’ll make it” or “Buck up, private!” or some other bullshit pep talk. Good for you. Glad to know it’s all good with you. I’m happy for you. But guess what? Just what do you think could make all this just a little more maddening than it already is. I’m even sure I’m awake right now. Yeah. For all I know I’m still dreaming. A dream within a dream within yet another dream. Wouldn’t that be a fucking hoot! Hey, you know what? Maybe this entire thing is nothing but one big cluster fuck of a dream and I’m actually on shore leave and I’ve been drugged by one of those outer colony hookers who’s right now robbing me blind! That would make so much more sense now wouldn’t it! At least then I would know I’ve gotten laid!

Okay. I’m calmer now. Sorry to have checked out like that. It’s just the stress. You understand. I’m quite sure I’m fully awake now. But damn, I’m really going to have to be aware of my states of unconsciousness. Good luck with that, Bradley. So where am I really you wonder? Good question.

Well, there’s nothing quite like waking up to this pair of faces. I must’ve provided some real entertainment while I was out. My two furry buddies are right here, looking at me with really bizarre expressions. Well, I guess any fear they had of me is long gone. I’m just the freak show now.

Well, it’s time that stopped. I have to face the reality of it. I’m not going to fins the station before the air runs out. Maybe the food and water will last a day or more. But not the air. It’s going far faster than I had anticipated. I should have known though. All this extra exertion is to blame. That’s the way it goes. I’ve wanted to smell the air anyway. And if you are at all curious to what happens after that, I’ll make an effort to stay in contact. That’s assuming the air doesn’t kill me first. Wish me luck.